Good, clean governance

No longer satisfied being known as the party of stodgy old white guys and trust funds, the Republicans set out in 1994 to move beyond their white-collar-oppressor roots to the more respectable profession of organized crime. With their power over the House of Representatives secure, they began looting and pillaging the Washington bureaucracy as I once thought only vikings could, leaving no money tree untrimmed, no fundraiser unjuiced. Even K Street was plundered, all Democrats taller than a wagon wheel slaughtered (or at least not talked-to). Yea, it was a wondrous age (with perhaps the exception of wayward, geeky little brother Taft, whose stamp collecting antics were just pretty embarrassing).

But, as with all great criminal empires, this too comes to an end. And what a blaze of legal glory! Any chump politician can be wrapped up in an insider trading scandal, or get indicted for conspiracy once. But a second indictment! How rare!

Yes, Tom Delay has done his party proud with this most recent indictment. And for money laundering, a real gangsta crime! I'm sure they're all lining up now to congratulate him.