Can they have threesomes instead?

Interesting bit over at Think Progress on abstinence education from our lovely Bush Administration:

Abstinence curricula must have a clear definition of sexual abstinence which must be consistent with the following: “Abstinence means voluntarily choosing not to engage in sexual activity until marriage. Sexual activity refers to any type of genital contact or sexual stimulation between two persons including, but not limited to, sexual intercourse.”

Which is followed by this:

Throughout the entire curriculum, the term “marriage” must be defined as “only a legal union between one man and one woman as a husband and wife, and the word ’spouse’ refers only to a person of the opposite sex who is a husband or a wife.” (Consistent with Federal law)

Now, seeing as this is one of the more technicality-driven administrations in recent history (which I'm sure will be blamed on Bill "definition of is" Clinton), I think we've got to interpret this education doctrine in context. If gay people aren't allowed to marry, and unmarried people aren't supposed to have sexual contact "between two persons," then we've got to assume they're meant to have sex in groups, and to masturbate. Once again, gay people get to have all the fun.